When did I let myself get so f*#%ing fat?!

If you came here looking for a feel-good blog about body image and weight loss, this may not be the one you want. If you want a brutally honest, real life, personal growth journey that happened to lead to weight loss and getting healthier, then this is definitely the blog for you. I will be posting daily about my journey...some days you'll get lucky, and I'll post more than once, lol!

First, let me tell you a little about myself. I’m 38-year-old a stay at home, home-schooling mom to 4 amazing kids. I’m married to my high school sweetheart. Those are the fun parts of my life. I love my husband and children and spending time with them. I love my church and community and being involved with both. What I have a tough time loving, though, is myself. When I look in the mirror, I want to cry because I am so unhappy with what I see. Somewhere in the past 15 years, I have completely let myself go. I am not just overweight; I’m obese.

I have made excuses about having kids ruining my body. I have let myself believe that because I can still be physically active, that I’m not in that bad of health. I read the articles on fat shaming and allow myself to believe that it is all true. We should let people be happy how they are. There is a different healthy for everyone. Be proud of yourself and love yourself. Well, I’m here to say that is all bull shit! At least for me. Yes, I need to love myself and be proud and healthy does look different on all of us. But that doesn’t mean that being obese is ever healthy. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre diabetic…none of that is healthy!

It was time for me to be honest with myself. I have gotten fat and not because of having kids or genetics (they may play a small role). No, I am fat and unhealthy because I have gotten lazy! Because I had gotten comfortable making plans to eat healthy and exercise, yet not actually do any of it. I had allowed myself to sit in front of the t.v. playing games on my phone and blame my physical health on all factors besides my own actions. It is time for me to hold myself responsible. Through out this blog, I will be writing posts about this journey of mine. So, welcome to my path from fat, lazy, depressed mom to happy, active, healthy, self-loving mom! I’m excited to share this with you all!