Day 1

well, today I cried (I'm talking ugly, mascara running making me look like a St. Bernard cried) for over 5 hours of my day.

I cried when I was getting dressed, I cried when I realized that my underwear doesn't fit. Ladies if you've ever gained a significant amount of weight then you know what I'm talking about. You pull it up and your stomach pushes it down. It's so tight on your thighs that you want to cut the leg bands.

I cried looking in the mirror after my shower. I cried when I was tying my shoes because it dawned on me that I'm having more issues bending over to tie my shoes now than I ever did while pregnant.

WTF!!!! How did I let myself get to this point!!!!

I cried again on the drive to pick my kids up from practice and when I put on my makeup. You know, makeup used to always make me feel fresh and complete for the day. But now, no matter what contouring I do, my face is still fat. Not like chubby cheeks, round face, but just plain fat, double chins, chipmunk cheeks, fat!

Ugh, I have become so ashamed of how I look!

And at the end of the day I cried myself to sleep because I just couldn't stop crying even though I had had an epiphany on the drive home with the kids. I had looked at them and realized that all this feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to change anything. I needed to do something and I needed to do it now!

For myself and for my family!

My bedtime cry, though, was no longer one of self-pity like the rest of the day had been. Nope, it was a cry because I was excited, happy, and terrified for this new revelation in my life!